Jazz Up Your Job Interview
Tell us a little about yourself.
Ok, ha ha, well. Um. Well, I just graduated from school in 2011. I was a theater major, and since then I’ve been doing a lot of unpaid internships, so I guess I’m looking to take the next step. I’m also looking to avoid the Mafioso whose brother I killed back in ‘92.
I see that you have quite a few internships on your resume here. Can you maybe talk about some of those experiences?
I had a really great experience working at Theater X last year. Just a really nice group of people. I first got involved with them when I was looking for costume pieces to use for the elaborate series of disguises I was wearing at the time. They said I could borrow their sombrero if I took tickets at the door, and I got increasingly involved on the creative end from there.
Yes, I see that they produced your play The Assassin’s Mistake. That’s wonderful.
Thank you. It was a very personal piece, so it was great to get their support.
Now, how did you come to leave that job?
I switch neighborhoods of the city every few months so that my trail through the sewers doesn’t become too easy to follow, and I wasn’t able to get there from Queens.
Of course. So that was more of a creative position. Was your next job more on the clerical end?
Yes, I got a lot of great experience at Theater Y. I’m really proficient now in Microsoft Office, Excel, Outlook, sending pigeons for help, InDesign, light and dark magic, and Photoshop.
Did you say Excel?
Now, can you talk a little bit about your strengths?
Oh, gosh. I guess I’d say I’m very detail-oriented, I work well as part of a team, and I’m always very aware of possible enemies and where they could be hiding.
How about weaknesses?
Well, sometimes I think you could say I’m a little too aware of my enemies! At my last job there was this totally weird misunderstanding where I punched this girl in the face when she tried to tuck in the tag on the back of my shirt without making enough noise to let me know she was there. We’re still Facebook friends and she kids me about it all the time. Oh, also I’d say I’m kind of a perfectionist.
Okay, and finally, where do you see yourself in five years?
Hmmm, that’s a tough one. I’d say … maybe at the bottom of the river, because of the Mafia? Or maybe publishing.